WASHINGTON – The National Rifle Association (NRA) took aim at unarmed movie goers who were targeted by a gunman Friday morning in Aurora, CO, calling the law-
abiding public to arms to stand their ground against the armed and deranged.
“There are enough guns in the hands of Americans for almost every man, woman, and child to have one. So, it stands to reason that some of those firearms are going to be in the hands of the minority of the mentally and emotionally unstable.
“Law abiding Americans have to be ready to return fire to avoid tragedies like those that happened in Aurora, but also Columbine, Virginia Tech, Tulsa, Florida, and all the other shootings where no one was armed to return fire,” said NRA spokesman Buffalo Bill.
Police took into custody 24-year-old James Holmes in the parking lot immediately after the shooting on suspicion that he entered a theater showing The Dark Knight Rises and opened fire with an assault rifle, handgun, and shotgun, killing 12 people and wounding 59.
Gotham mayor Michael Bloomberg said “soothing words are nice,” but said the uniquely American problem of mass shootings should be addressed in the ongoing presidential election.
Obama called for a suspension of politics to give the nation time to grieve. “This is a time for each of us to look into our hearts and remember how much we love one another, and how much we love, how much we care for our great country,” Republican candidate Mitt Romney said, “There is so much love and goodness in the heart of America.”
But the chances of addressing the epidemic of gun violence in America during the campaign are slim, according to campaign representatives who spoke anonymously because they are not authorized to address the thorny issue.
“I think we’d rather release 10 years of tax returns and make specific economic proposals than even think about regulating arms,” said a Romney representative.
“Get out of town,” said an Obama representative when asked if the president would address the issue of guns and violence in America. “We might as well call the Romney people and concede the election,” the official added.
The NRA, on the other hand, pointed to its many education programs on how to handle guns as part of the solution. “Look, we have enough guns out there for unarmed citizens to begin to protect themselves. There shouldn’t be unarmed law-abiding citizens when they fill a theater, classroom, or church.
“It’s the law-abiding citizens’ civic duty to be armed and know how to use their arms against the bad guys. What could be clearer?” asked Buffalo Bill. ”It’s fine that the hearts of Americans are full of love. But their hands are full of guns. And those guns have clips that can be emptied with a single pull of the trigger. And those clips have enough bullets to wipe out a small army unit. That’s what Americans are up against when they step out each day.”
“And, what’s more, with the proliferation of killings using automatic and semi-automatic weapons,” said Buffalo Bill, “it’s incumbent on the head of each household to make sure that the family armory is stocked with the latest in firearm technology needed to overcome weapons in the hands of the bad guys.
“Families need to make sure that Billy and Suzy are armed with adequate firepower as they head out the door to school each day,” Buffalo Bill added. “The missus needs more than a derringer in her purse when she goes to church, or shopping. And dad’s assault rifle must be modified so that it’s automatic and he should have the largest clips. We recommend up to six fully loaded clips, depending on the model.”